I stumbled upon this article posted on SELF online and couldn't help but share. It really is inspiring advice and encouraged some needed self-reflection on this wonderful Monday. I plan to live up to these 8 traits and will try to continue to change myself for the better through self reflection and growth.
8 Ways to a Happier You
Self-Control
What it is: Doing what's in line with your most fundamental goals, even when you're tempted to stray.
Why it matters: Self-control pushes you to make the difficult choice (go to the gym) over the immediately appealing option (sleep) for a result that will eventually pay off (a better bod). College students who scored high on self-control not only earned better grades but also were less depressed and anxious, had stronger personal bonds and hardier self-esteem, and had fewer struggles with food, theJournal of Personality notes.
How to get more: "Think, talk or blog about what you're ultimately aiming for and why," says Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D., author of The Willpower Instinct. "The more it's top of mind, the more automatic doing the right thing will become." Plus, studies show that when you consistently make hard choices in one area of life (for example, your diet), you'll feel more willpower in others. (Suddenly, going for runs and tackling that work project feel easier. Go figure.)
Grit
What it is: The raw endurance, perseverance and passion that keep you going despite obstacles.
Why it matters: Realizing big dreams takes work. When researchers at the University of Pennsylvania asked people in various fields, from banking to art, to describe star performers, grit came up over and over. (It's also closely linked with a higher college GPA.) Being gritty isn't always fun. Says Peterson, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor: "It can mean working 24/7 if that's what it takes." That's why grit requires passion. It's easier to plug away at a goal if you're fired up.
How to get more: You can develop grit by taking what Peterson calls long cuts rather than shortcuts. "Build up your grit gradually, like a muscle," Peterson says. For instance, if you're psyched about cooking, make a homemade version of your favorite take-out dish. Love politics? Crack an in-depth article about your favorite candidate, instead of scanning headlines. "Engaging fully takes extra time, and that's the point. You'll develop mental stamina."
Curiosity
What it is: A penchant for seeking out the new and different.
Why it matters: People who describe themselves as intentionally curious report greater life satisfaction and a deeper sense of meaning. They're also apt to push themselves to learn and meet their goals, Motivation and Emotion reports. Curious folks are also better problem solvers. "If you cast about for diverse solutions, you're less liable to go with the first thing you come up with," says Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., author of Curious? That's good, because if you focus solely on finding the right answer, you'll miss a chance to hit on something truly original. At the least, you'll have fun exploring kooky ideas and have amazing conversations along the way.
How to get more: "As soon as we think we're an expert in something, we usually stop paying attention and switch into autopilot," Kashdan says. So when you're doing something you've done a thousand times, like asking a sibling how work is going, make it your goal to see what's different this time. "Rather than starting with a rote 'What's going on at the office?' find out what weird or funny or interesting thing happened that day," Kashdan suggests. "You'll both end up being more engrossed in the discussion, and the result is a stronger relationship."
Optimism
What it is: Believing that the best may lie ahead.
Why it matters: If you have faith that good things are likely to happen, you may be more open to opportunities when they arise. Research from Duke University found that optimistic MBA grads got jobs faster, despite being pickier. "When you think you've got a shot, it makes sense that you'll prep more and come across as more confident. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy," adds Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., author of The How of Happiness. Optimists also tend to see setbacks as temporary rather than as a sweeping negative judgment on their abilities—which makes it easier to persevere.
How to get more: Each day, think of three things that went well and why (for example, you got a raise—and you worked for it—or the deli guy gave you a free soda because you're nice to him). Research finds that people who took stock for a week felt happier. If they kept it up, the good mood lasted a full six months. Small effort. Big payoff.
Love
What it is: Close, caring relationships where the good vibes flow both ways.
Why it matters: Love makes it easier to get through tough times and reach your peak potential. According to the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, when people were standing next to a friend, they perceived a hill as less steep than did those who were alone, and the longer they had known the friend, the less steep the hill seemed. Even cooler, merely thinking of ways a loved one had supported them had the same effect.
How to get more: Nurture your friendships, in person, during bad times and good. Most of us are ready to rush to someone going through a hard time. But that's not enough. "Too often, when something great happens for a friend, we don't feel the same urgency to be there for her," Kashdan says. So whether a pal wants to spill the news of her fabulous date or the new apartment she scored, ask for deets. You'll attach positive energy to the bond and help it flourish.
Social Intelligence
What it is: Your gray-dar—how well you pick up on the gray areas of a situation and intuit the things that people don't say out loud.
Why it matters: When you're dealing with tricky office politics, navigating a tense family dinner or trying to decode any interaction in which someone isn't expressing exactly what she means, being able to read people and situations accurately will win you allies and make everyday encounters a lot more fun.
How to get more: Think of yourself as a spy bent on figuring out what your coworker, sister, boss or whoever is feeling but not saying. So if you're pissed at a friend for canceling yet again, hold off on shooting her a snarky text and run through possible reasons she might have flaked. Does she always cancel? Has something changed in her life? How did she act when you saw her last? Then approach her the way you'd want her to talk to you: "I miss hanging out. Is something up?" By letting your pal know you're trying to understand what's going on, you'll avoid a rift and create an opportunity to have a closer friendship.
Gratefulness
What it is: Fully appreciating and noticing the good in yourself, other people and the world at large, then giving that appreciation back in spades.
Why it matters: We all say thank you countless times a day, usually automatically. "But when you express true gratitude, you motivate others to be generous, which we know produces joy," says Robert Emmons, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California in Davis. And unlike self-control or grit, which tends to require a goal, gratitude can exist on its own: "You can be grateful to be alive," Emmons says. The rest is gravy.
How to get more: Add details to your thank-yous: Tell your boyfriend you appreciate his walking the dog because you love not having to rush before work. Or let your sister know how thrilled you are about the playlist she downloaded on your iPod, being sure to mention a few of the songs you rocked out to most. You'll get an added lift from taking pleasure in the little things. Plus, when you express thanks sincerely, you're more likely to get support back.
Zest
What it is: Tackling life with energy, excitement, enthusiasm and eagerness.
Why it matters: People filled with positive energy tend to see their work as a calling—and end up more satisfied with what they do and with life in general, theJournal of Organizational Behavior reports.
How to get more: Some people are naturally zestful, but attitude, life goals and health can play a big part. "Someone with autonomy at work, who fills her time with activities she loves and is close with others, is likely to score high on zest scales," says Richard Ryan, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. "Zest is contagious, so surrounding yourself with active, interested and enthusiastic people helps, too," Peterson adds. And when the blahs do hit, listen to your body and take mini-breaks to recharge. Calling a pal or getting outside for a walk can be enough to get your juices flowing again.
