Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.

  
You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself.  ~Alan Alda



On the path to self discovery, there are good days and there are bad days. For the past 2 years, actually more like 3, years I have been desperately trying to figure out who I am and change the qualities about myself that I find less than desirable. And let me tell you- it is a major challenge and clearly not as easy as I thought it would be. My reflective state began while I was living abroad in South Africa. It is almost impossible to not be permanently changed by such a life changing experience. I was on my own, in a completely foreign country, where I did not speak the language- in fact I had never even heard of the language, and I was faced with the challenge of befriending people from allll over the world. But it was incredible. I quickly made friends with many of my fellow international students (thankfully I had an amazing roommate, Danni) and the good times instantly began to roll. The entire experience was about over indulgence, and I mean that in the most positive way possible. Over indulgence of education, wine, love, friends, personal growth, and of course school work. I threw myself into the South African social scene and braai'd every weekend, drank copious amounts of Hunter's Dry Cider, danced at the clubs, and educated myself on the history of South Africa. It was incredible and I will never forget the amazing people who changed my life during the course of that year- I am of course referring to my life long girlfriends Danni, Karie, Jenna, Rebecca and Lisa. 

But like all good things, it had to end. And when I returned home to the states in June of 2009 I was faced with an even bigger challenge. How do you rebound from the most amazing year of your life and continue to positively grow without feeling overly nostalgic for the past. Well let me tell you, the 2 years since my return from SA have been a constant roller coaster. I continue to question who I am every single day and I most certainly have my days where I don't like certain qualities. However, as a whole I love the person that I have become and I love who I foresee I'll be. The true key to success is constantly challenging who you are and who you should be. The day I stop trying to develop into a better person will be the day that I truly start to worry. So I will continue to expand upon my relationship with myself, I will look in the mirror every morning and remind myself how amazing I am, and finally I will not stop challenging myself- because I WILL NOT settle for anything less than what I deserve; whether in my career, my friendships, and most importantly my relationships.

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

2 comments:

  1. Awww Mckenzie I love this post and couldn't agree with you more! And this post also makes me miss you like crazy and miss our crazy nights at Nu'bar!

    When is the big move happening???

    xoxo
    Jenna

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi! I also think 'I don't deserve anything less' -but sometimes that gives an expectation that can't be met.Don't you think? Found you on FTLOB, I'll be back!

    ReplyDelete

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